Ministry Fiction Irritant #003: Monkey Men

I slip a knife into the peanut butter jar and I hit something. I know its metal by the muted plink sound. It's only Monday, a quarter to six in the morning, but this – whatever it is – has become my life. I fish out the blockage with the knife: my keys, still on the ring, submerged into a full jar of peanut butter. It's the work of my roommate, Henry, or his friend, who I know only as Rem-Dog. They're asleep now. Henry in his bed, Rem-Dog on the floor in the living room. These mornings are my only peace and work has become an eight-hour vacation. How did this happen?

I've had that bit for months and months. The story's been slowly growing. Been trying to put the final nail in this weekend, holed up at the BU library with J. As the story was very loosely inspired by a lyric from The Rolling Stones Let It Bleed, I decided it would be fun to cram as many details from that album as possible into the story. I may have ruined Let It Bleed for myself. The only way this could be worse is if it had been inspired by an Exile on Main Street lyric. Thank you for your attention in this matter. Stay with Anonymous Rendezvous through the night, we will interupt regular programming as more details become available.